win or lose

I pull my finger
off the button on the phone
and quickly hear the first ring

its now been several weeks
in which time
you discarded me

the phone has rung several times
you never got it fast
always wondered
with whom you would connect

my hand is shaking
and it is very cold in my room
but sweat still finds its way
down my forehead

the ringing stops
I put the phone down
hear several words
close my eyes
and pull the trigger